Not a Man of Constant Sorrow

I was just flipping through the channels and came across one of my favorite movies. I'm usually happy when that happens, but this time it's a little bittersweet. I haven't seen this particular movie for the past two years. Two years and two days, as a matter of fact. I hadn't really planned to post anything about it being the two year anniversary of my brother's death, but I almost feel like I have to now. Don't worry, I'll try to keep it as brief and upbeat as I can.

Jason had been in the hospital for five weeks, and as you can imagine, it got pretty boring there in his hospital room. I took a DVD player and quite a few movies in for Jason to watch. He watched some of his old favorites, including "Jaws", which is one of my all time favorites, as well. He and I watched the remake of "The Longest Yard", and both remarked on Courtney Cox's surprisingly (and suddenly) large breasts. In retrospect, if I had known that Jason was going to die, I wouldn't have wasted his time with that crap movie.

Twenty-four hours after Jason had been told of his inoperable aneurysm, he was trying to remain upbeat and reassuring to the rest of us. That night, we had the movie "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" playing in his room. None of us were actually watching it, but it was just background noise, I suppose. I don't know how many of you have seen the movie, but near the end is the song "In the Jailhouse Now". Totally out of the blue, Jason starts yodeling along with the song. We all laughed, but it was just so surreal. My brother was always kinda goofy and making us laugh, but I'd never heard him yodel. Less than 12 hours later, he was gone.

I'll always remember that in my brothers last hours, he was still trying to make us laugh, and that's why it makes me a little sad to be watching this movie now. I just can't imagine handling my impending death the way Jason did. He was so brave, so strong... I never saw him shed a tear, never heard him ask "Why me?". Yep. My brother was "bona fide". (For that to make any sense, you have to watch the movie)

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

After a month of problems with my laptop, it's finally up and running! (Thank you, Reid!!!! You are my knight in white satin armor! haha) It's a great feeling. Familiar and comforting. It's a little bit like coming home. A home that has been robbed of all of my furniture and personal belongings, that is.

My hard drive died, you see, and even though I was married to a computer guru for a 100 years, it apparently never quite sunk in that I should BACK UP MY HARD DRIVE!!!!! So, all of the programs I used daily... gone. All of the music that I copied into Windows Media Player, and then sold or gave away the Cd's.... gone. All of the pictures of my friends and family from the past couple of years... gone. All of the videos Reid sent of him playing his guitar and singing for me, when we lived 1000 miles apart... gone. Yeah, you get the idea and yeah, I'm a little sad about all of that.

Oh well. I'm not going to dwell on it. Instead, I'm going to be appreciative of the fact that it could be fixed. Even though it has to be the heaviest laptop that's been manufactured in the last 10 years, it's been pretty good to me. I have very fond memories of the words I read on this screen, as well as the words that I typed on this keyboard. I came to the scariest and most wonderful realization of my life on this computer.

Thank you, my love. Not only for fixing my computer, but for loving me, and making me happier than I ever thought possible.

Time to get busy making new memories.