Such a funny little hero....

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Tired of the Olympics yet?


What is it about Big Brother that causes contestants to become idiots?

I’m not talking about just their normal idiocy they bring with them into the house, such as Jerry’s crotchety-old-manliness or Jessie’s total self-absorption. What amazes me is that even now in the tenth season of Big Brother, the contestants still have no idea how the game is played.

You would think that when these nimrods applied to be on Big Brother, they would at least take a moment to familiarize themselves with how the game works.

Big Brother is not reality. It’s a lockdown house. Everybody lies, manipulates, and betrays to stay alive. There are no saints in the house. If there were, we wouldn’t be watching, but still every year someone gets indignant that another houseguest is playing the game.

“I can’t believe she would lie to my face.”

Why not? Big Brother is not a church social. It’s more like a political negotiation. All that matters is staying alive for the next week.

Currently, Jerry the Marine, who went back on his word and evicted a fellow military man in week one, is angry with Dan, a Catholic school teacher who was playing both sides of the fence and voted out one of Jerry’s allies. And even though Jerry vehemently proclaims that Dan is "America's Player" (which he was last week) he still says that Dan betrayed him, and calls him Judas.

Hypocrisy is apparently not a word they teach you in boot camp.

Their lack of strategy also eludes me, such as the constant kissing up to the Head of Household. Once the nominations are made, the HoH loses a lot of power. By the time the veto ceremony is finished, the only difference between the HoH and the other houseguests is a better bathroom, but still you see them swearing their allegiance to vote however the HoH wants.

At that point, the HoH is the weakest person in the house. They can’t change the nominations, and they can’t play for the HoH next week, but they’re still treated like the belle of the ball.

They’re a lame duck, and we can see right now how very little power a lame duck administration has.

posted by Kimberly @ 2:10 AM  0 Comments

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

They say that breaking up is hard to do (comma comma down-doobie doo-down down).

Since the dawn of time, ending a relationship has been difficult, so it was only a matter of time before cowardly souls would come up with ways to avoid making eye contact with the recently dumped.

I’ve read that Sylvester Stallone once broke up with Jennifer Flavin via Fed Ex. On “Sex and the City,” Carrie was once dumped on a Post-It. Matt Damon broke up with Minnie Driver on the Oprah Winfrey show!! How embarrassing is THAT?! A blogger recently posted that his girlfriend’s MOM informed him that her daughter was breaking up with him. Hello?! That is SO Junior High!

The following is my list of the 9 Lamest Ways to break up with your significant other.

1. Text Message
A few years ago, I could never really imagine that this would be a break up method. But with the popularity of text messaging these days, I’m sure that more than one woman has been dumped in this cowardly manner.








Carrie Underwood sent Chace Crawford (of "Gossip Girl") a "Peace Out" text to end things.





Hot mess Britney Spears reportedly informed Kevin Federline that she wanted a divorce via text message.
2. Voice Mail
Nothing says that you are not committed to the relationship like waiting until you know she’s in a tunnel to call.

3. IM (Instant Messenger)
Pretty much says, “While I’m breaking up with you in THIS window, I’m chatting with my NEW girlfriend in another window” Added bonus: When he says, “I’m breaking up with U”, you can always pretend you were dating Prince.

4. Email
Saves you the trouble of recounting your breakup conversation, because you can just forward it to all of your friends for their comments. On the downside, it’s always there for you to reread and remember what a loser you were dating.

5. Changing Myspace/Facebook relationship status
While researching the break up topic, I came across a blogger that had this to say, “It hits like a wave of confusion and denial. For some odd reason, the crazy folks at Facebook have incorrectly notified you (and the entire universe, thanks to Newsfeed) that you are suddenly single. Uh, what? You immediately call to tell your significant other of this insanity, but they don’t answer. Ever again.” Worse still, seeing their status go from “In A Relationship” to “Single” means they’re announcing they’ve not only dumped you, but they’re open for business and ready to start dating again.

6. Ending things in a restaurant
If you’re going to do this one, be prepared to spring for separate cab rides home for both of you. I’m embarrassed to say that I’m actually somewhat guilty of this one. In a conversation with my now ex-husband, I blurted out “I’m not happy!” over my Szechuan Shrimp and Fried Rice. In my defense, it wasn’t planned, but it was plenty uncomfortable. Nothing like trying to keep the couple at the table next to you from overhearing you, when all you want to do is stab someone with a chopstick.

7. It’s not you, it’s me
Your reply, “Of course it’s you! I’m great, so it HAS to be you!” I have to confess that I’m guilty of this one as well. Even though this line is completely over-used, and is usually a cop out, I actually meant it when I said it. So it IS possible that your boyfriend is not taking the easy way out. A very slim possibility.




8. On your Wikipedia page
Maybe you thought it was bad to be broken up with by your boyfriend’s doorman, secretary, or five year old little brother, but you haven’t lived until your boyfriend breaks up with you on his Wikipedia page. Wikipedia chief Jimbo Wales dumped his girlfriend on his page, and she was so angry she sold his clothes on eBay. WikiDump


9. Rejection Hotline.com
Nothing helps soften the blow of being dumped like hearing a witty answering machine message saying, “The person that gave you this number wants to break up with you.” Dumpers have several choices of breakup messages to choose from, including one that tells the caller they have bad breath. Seems funny, but probably will lead to bad feelings, held grudges, and slashed tires.




posted by Kimberly @ 4:23 AM  0 Comments

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Uhmmm I think the Universe is messing with me!!!



Okay, today I posted my myspace status as "Kimberly is watching "Rockford Files". James Garner was so dreamy. :)".




I've always had the hots for him, even though he's an older man. He's the definition of "ruggedly handsome".





So, two hours after I posted my status, I'm flipping channels and run across the show "8 Simple Rules" on ABC Family channel. I stop because I've always been a John Ritter fan, and I haven't watched the show since he died 5 years ago. (I haven't watched Three's Company either. It just makes me too sad.)

So anyway, the commercial ends and it opens in the family's kitchen. The doors opens and in walks James Garner. An 80 year old James Garner. A BALD James Garner. A GRANDFATHERLY James Garner. *shiver* I was like "WTF?!" I mean, it makes sense that he's an old man by now, but I just didn't need to see it so soon after I'd been lusting after him today!

Oh, and his scene? haha The family is coming back from one of the kids' plays and he says, "Well, that was worth missing 'Rockford Files' for." LOL

posted by Kimberly @ 7:33 PM  0 Comments

Monday, March 03, 2008

Well, that sucks. Jeff Healey died.

Some of you may not be familiar with Jeff Healey, but all of you that grew up in the 80's should remember him. He was the blind guitar player/singer featured in the movie "Roadhouse" with Patrick Swayze. He also had a hit with the song "Angel Eyes".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYz_LHKrgDY

I guess I never knew *why* he was blind. He lost both of his eyes to retinoblastoma before he was eight-months-old. He found out later in life that he carried a gene that made him predisposed to other forms of cancer. He had been treated in the last couple of years for lung cancer.

Even though we hadn't heard much in the US about Jeff since the 80's, he had become a jazz musician in his native Canada. He even had his own radio show.

Heh. I'll always remember one of his scenes in "Roadhouse". Patrick Swayze had just come to the Double Deuce and a huge bar fight broke out. Dalton kicked some serious ass, of course. When things died down, Jeff says, "The name.... is Dalton." I don't know why it cracks me up, but it does. Probably because I'm obsessed with that movie.

I don't know why it saddens me so much when someone I don't even know dies. I guess I felt even worse when I heard about Jeff because I felt like his life was probably difficult enough, due to the blindness. Adding cancer on top of that just sucks. Well, cancer always sucks, of course, but he was 41 years old, dammit.
Rest in peace, Jeff.

posted by Kimberly @ 1:31 PM  0 Comments

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Suspended in Time

Okay, you can't tell it from my typing, but I was totally singing "Suspended in Time" from Xanadu when I typed the subject of this blog.

But I know for certain
Goodbye is a criiiime
So love if you need me
Suspend me in tiiiiiiime

I wanted you guys to see this video clip. It's amazing. I would have loved to have been there.

http://www.maniacworld.com/frozen-in-grand-central-station.html

Okay, and while I was talking to a friend about posting this blog, she asked me if I had seen the following video. I hadn't, but it made me laugh my ass off AND it falls in line with my 80's theme lately. haha Thanks, Jill!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6EDAZ3crdY

posted by Kimberly @ 1:29 AM  0 Comments

Friday, February 29, 2008

Rick Astley would never....

Thought you girls would appreciate a blast from the past, and before you go bashing him... I just gotta say, I LOVED this man. I thought he was just the cutest thing. haha



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU



posted by Kimberly @ 1:15 AM  1 Comments

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez, ya’ll

Crockpot 102

Okay, I'm obviously on a crockpot kick. Wanted to share with you guys an easy, yummy and CHEAP meal I made last week.




I was perusing the soup aisle at Wal-mart, when I came across this:



It's a Slow Cooker Meal Starter for Cajun Red Beans. Mmmm When I was looking at the directions on the back, I realized it would be a really easy way to make Jambalaya. I bought a can of diced tomatoes, some boil-in-bag rice, and smoked sausage.

So, I rinsed the beans and then poured them into the crockpot. I added the diced tomatoes, 4 cups of water and then closed the lid. Set it on "Low" and left it alone for about 6 hours. About 20 minutes before dinner, I boiled the rice and then sliced up the smoked sausage. Added the sausage and turned the crockpot on "High". When the rice was cooked, I added it. Voila! Jambalaya!!

posted by Kimberly @ 1:08 AM  0 Comments