"Final Destination 23" Starring: MyHeroZero

Last night, I felt like I should have been in one of the "Final Destination" movies. For those of you that are just too snobby to watch such tripe, people get killed in really freaky ways. Death is conspiring against them basically, and all kinds of unlikely events all come together just to kill them off. A leaky toilet, spilled shampoo, a clothesline and BAM! a kid just hung himself in the shower. Anyway...

I was in the kitchen, preparing dinner for my love. I was actually rushing a bit, so it would be ready when he got home from work. Damn, I am so June Cleaver these days! haha Anyway, we had decided on chicken and AuGratin potatoes. Since I'm no Paula Deen, I'm making the potatoes from a box mix. Terrible, I know. I get out the 9 x 12 glass baking dish and put it down on the only available surface in our tiny ass kitchen... the stove. I get out a pan to boil the water, put it on the back burner and turn it on. I empty the freeze dried potatoes into the baking dish and turn around to wash some dishes while waiting for water to boil. I have no clue how much time had elapsed, but I hear a very loud noise that sounds like an explosion. I have NO idea what just happened. Yeah, you guys can see where this is going, right? I turn and see that the baking dish has EXPLODED into about 500 pieces all over the kitchen. Totally freaked out, I run into the living room (which is only about 4 feet away haha) I'm standing at the front door, almost hyperventilating, still trying to figure out what the hell just happened, when I look into the kitchen and notice that those damned potatoes are now catching fire, because they are laying on the burner. So, I rush back in and turn off the burner and knock the potatoes off of it.

I look around and see that the glass is EVERYwhere. It's all over the kitchen counters, the floor, in the sink and even in the dining room. And then it hits me, actually... why DIDN'T it hit me? It went everywhere. I was standing 2 feet away, at most, and I'm not a small target. :) How in the hell did I not get cut by the flying glass? This wasn't safety glass. I actually cut myself a couple of times cleaning it up. How did I not get injured? And what is the likelihood that I would be wearing my shoes? I rarely wear my shoes in the house, but I had been doing laundry yesterday afternoon. Freaky, eh?

I don't know about any of you, but when something like this happens, I imagine my life as a movie. I can see the camera going in for a closeup of my hand, turning on the wrong burner. I can see it focusing on the burner glowing red while my back is turned. I can see it in slow motion as the dish explodes, and hundreds of small pieces go flying everywhere. I see the close up on my face as I hear it, and my look of confusion. I can hear the dramatic music. I see all of that in my mind and then I laugh. Damn, I'd pay money to see that!

Anyway, I'm feeling incredibly lucky. Especially because my man came home from work, hugged and kissed me, and then took pity on me and went out to get Chinese takeout for me. Woohoo!!!! AND he came back home and cleaned up the glass for me. He's a sweetie. I love you, baby!

You know, as long as no one gets hurt, things like this just crack me up. It's what makes life interesting. Although, I'd prefer that my life got interesting by winning the lottery. Oh well...